Silver Linings Are Everywhere – by: David Leonhardt

Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let’s face it; there is little that has been derided more than Viagra. On the talk shows, it has been the butt of more jokes than Michael Jackson and Saddam Hussein combined. For example:

(OK, OK. I admit I was going to share an example or two, but I couldn’t find any clean enough to pass my censor’s well-trained eyes.)

Of course, if you are not laughing yet from the jokes you could imagine I might have told, it may be because you are so fed up of receiving offers for Viagra in your email inbox, right up there with the prospect of enhancing body parts you didn’t even know you owned. In fact, you may even be convinced that spam was invented just to deliver the Viagra industry’s message to your personal desktop.

Can anything good come from Viagra?

As a matter of fact, yes. Scientists have actually found a benefit from Viagra (No, I am not talking about experimenting in their labs.) Apparently Viagra is good for the environment.

It took a lot of work and several failed attempts to reach this conclusion. First, the scientists tried to use Viagra as an additive to revive lakes that were dying from acid rain. Unfortunately, it raised the lake’s body temperature and fried the fish.

Then they tried using Viagra to replace polluting dry cleaner chemicals, but clothes came back too rigid to wear: “Hey, how come my fleece isn’t soft anymore?” “I thought I told you not to starch my collars.” “Ouch!”

The researchers tried feeding Viagra to swine, cattle, and chickens, hoping to replace feed sources that now consume vast areas of land. However, the farm animals wouldn’t touch the stuff. The cockroaches, however, found it energizing, and before long there were very few barns left.

Next they decided to see if Viagra could be used as a low-polluting fuel to heat homes in the winter. That option looked promising … until airplanes started hitting the rising chimney stacks. Oops.

Then the scientists tried offering Viagra to all the taxi drivers who insisted on idling their polluting engines between fares. Unfortunately, it seems that most cab drivers preferred idling to anything Viagra could do for them (which may explain the way they drive.)

Finally, the researchers have discovered that Viagra can save endangered species. This is no joke – check the wire services on the Internet. In fact, a paper published recently by researchers at the University of Alaska and the University of New South Wales reveals that the trade in exotic body parts used as aphrodisiacs has fallen dramatically since Viagra hit the market.

Rhinos love this, because poachers had made them almost extinct, killing them for the horn, so sought-after by the lovelorn, and leaving the carcass behind. Reindeer feel more secure about their antlers now, too, since the velvet coverings are in less demand. And you may already have noticed fewer seals walking around town with their legs crossed, as the price for their private parts has fallen 72 percent.

Others who are thrilled about this great scientific discovery include sea horses, pipefish, elk and the ever beloved sea cucumber. I am still not sure whether that last one is a joke.

So, is Viagra the butt of countless jokes or the scourge of the Internet? If you look for silver linings, it is neither. It is the savior of endangered species. Now that I’ve helped clear that up for you, what else do you deride? What else upsets you? Can you find a silver lining? I’m sure you can. If Viagra is a good thing, can there be anything bad?

About The Author David Leonhardt is the Happy Guy, author of “Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html. Visit him at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com. info@thehappyguy.com

Life After Debt – Strategies for Dealing with Problem Debt – by: Brian Sabalinski

Honorably and ethically rid yourself of burdensome debts using the little known Negotiation Strategy, without having to experience the loss of control and privacy associated with filing for bankruptcy, consolidation, or credit counseling.

The inability to reduce debt and saving money are the two biggest obstacles preventing Americans from living financially sound lives. National statistics show that money problems play a role in 80 percent of all divorces. One in 54 households will declare bankruptcy. Debt is at an all-time high, particularly credit card debt. The total amount of consumer debt in the United States is nearly $1.4 trillion.

If you are one of the millions of Americans burdened with debt and have trouble making those never-ending monthly payments, help is available. You don’t need to go it alone. If you are a typical American family, you have $25,000-$30,000 worth of credit card debt (excluding mortgages, car loans, and student loan payments), and you’re paying $500 to $900 every month in endless minimum payments.

Like you, many people continue making their minimum monthly payments believing that they are making progress. They are living in a state of denial saying “Someday, somehow, something will happen. Things will get better, and my debt problem will be gone.” Then years go by and they only find themselves in a downward spiral getting nowhere. They have paid their creditors thousands of dollars but their debt load never gets lighter. For example, if you were to continue making minimum payments on a $9,000 debt, and not add any more debt, it will take you over 10 years to pay it off. You will end up spending many thousands more than the original amount and 80% of the money paid will have gone to interest and fees. Most people add more debt as they go, so the reality is this – Without an aggressive approach to terminating debt once and for all, you will NEVER get rid of debt.

Today, people have options. There are four strategies for dealing with problem debt you will see advertised: Debt Consolidation, Consumer Credit Counseling Services (CCC), Bankruptcy, and Debt Negotiation. Each strategy must be considered carefully!

Debt Consolidation – The Common Approach

Unfortunately debt consolidation is the most common solution people think of when they fall victim to financial problems. It is a sad fact that about 75% of people who consolidate their debt find themselves in much deeper financial trouble than they were in to begin with. All consolidation loans do is transfer debt from one place to another and is invariably a short term fix with long term pain. A debt consolidation loan will not reduce the amount you owe. You will still pay back 100% of the loan plus interest. This is not going to get you out of trouble and most of the time will only make things worse. Again, consolidation is not a plan to get out of debt but is instead just getting new debt to pay off old debt.

If you were to decide to consolidate, you would need to qualify first. Qualifications include equity in a home you own or other valuable, good credit and debt to income ratio. Most people burdened by debt find that even if they wanted to consolidate their debt they couldn’t qualify for the loan anyway. Once you have taken out this loan, you have just gone from an unsecured debt to a secured debt – and gambling with all your assets. Consolidation loans are spread out over a 15 – 30 year period, leaving you exposed to losing your assets over the life of the loan. If you run into further difficulty in the future you stand to lose your home, car, and valuables.

The fundamental problem that people run into is that once the debts are paid off by the loan, they discover they have a new line of spending potential: empty credit cards. It’s not long after these accounts are cleared that they are run up to the limit once again. This will leave you with both the consolidation loan and maxed out credit cards to repay. How are you going to repay the loan and the credit cards when you were unable to pay the previous debt in the first place? You will find yourself back in the bank for a second consolidation loan, extending your debt and making your debt problem even worse.

Bear in mind that being in debt leaves you with less cash you need to buy and plan for life’s necessities. Although a consolidation loan may give you a lower payment and a little more breathing room, consolidation is not going to leave you with the cash to get you and your family through the next 10 to 30 years.

Consumer Credit Counseling Services (CCC) – Feeling of False Security

Consumer Credit Counseling Services (CCC) programs have a failure rate of 85%. They simply aren’t effective. Here’s why; you meet with a counselor who analyzes your monthly budget. The counselor will submit a proposal to your creditors for a reduction in the interest rates. You would then pay a monthly payment to them and they would then distribute that monthly payment to your creditors. These programs generally take 5-7 years to complete. The theory here is that your overall payment per month is lower due to the counselor’s success at obtaining lower interest rates and more favorable terms with the credit card companies and banks. This approach is most often recommended by the banks themselves.

Here are the facts: CCC Services were created in the late 1970’s when credit card and loan companies began to notice that many people were having problems making their minimum payments and defaulting on their debt. In short, the so-called “non-profit” companies are owned by the credit card companies and banks! CCC agencies are funded by commission by the credit card companies based on the debt recovered from you, normally around 12 – 15%. This means that for every $1,000 you give them, they can take as much as $150. If you’re paying them a service fee of $20 per month, and the creditors are paying them $75, you can quickly see that CCC agencies are not working for you but for the creditors.

In addition, you have no insight into what the CCC agency is doing on your behalf and no control over the repayment process. They send in their single monthly payment, with no idea of how much is going to which creditor. Since most counselors are busy people who work based on high volume, getting a return phone call can be difficult.

It’s key to know that with CCC programs, you still pay 100% of the debt plus a lower interest rate. The debt you walk in the CCC is what you walk out with. With all things considered, it works out to be about the same as your current minimum payments.

Bankruptcy – The Last Straw

Today more people than ever are turning to personal bankruptcy as a way of solving their financial problems. Estimates indicate that 2003 will see nearly 1 in 70 Americans filing for bankruptcy. People owing as little as $5,000 are unknowingly filing, not knowing of alternative methods of eliminating their debt. The reason people take this hasty action with such a low debt amount is the harassment and overwhelming pressure from impatient collectors trying to recover their money. In the case of Consumer Credit Counseling agencies, once they find that they are unable or unwilling to help, they will suggest bankruptcy as the answer – unconcerned of the effect it will have on your future.

In bankruptcy, a court order forces all commercial creditors to cease and desist from attempting to collect the debts you owe them. Depending on the bankruptcy declared (Chapter 7 or 13), it stops wage garnishment, reverses judgments, and generally wipes out debt.

For some people, bankruptcy is the only sensible option. If you have $60,000 in debts, and you’ll never earn more than $1,200 per month, then you’re broke! The sooner you eliminate the debt, the sooner you’ll have a fresh start. With more than 1.4 million bankruptcy filings in 2000, Congress is passing legislation that will make it tougher to declare bankruptcy.

In bankruptcy, certain personal property is treated as exempt. The banks and creditors cannot touch that property in attempting to recover the money owed to them. Your home, car and other personal effects like clothing, and other assets are considered exempt, but this varies from state to state. Any property that is not exempt is liquidated and distributed to the creditors under the supervision of the court. Since most people entering bankruptcy have only exempt property anyway, there’s usually nothing left to distribute, so the creditors typically get nothing.

Seems like a good deal? Many people mistakenly see bankruptcy as a good, low cost way to rid themselves of debt. There are other costs associated with bankruptcy that make it a very bad solution for most people. The cost of filing bankruptcy itself is minimal. Depending on what state you live in, you can expect to pay anywhere from $400 on up to $1,600 for the whole process. That’s just the beginning. The bankruptcy will stay on your credit report for 10 years – and on your court records for 20 years. The seemingly “low cost” method will cost you dearly as it will follow you for the rest of your life. If you ever apply for a loan, job, apartment or insurance, one of the first questions normally asked is “Have you ever filed for bankruptcy?” And, for the rest of your life, you’ll have to answer “Yes.”

You might be able to eliminate your debt, but the effects emotionally and the effect on your personal life will last for many years to come. Consider applying for a terrific job after you have filed bankruptcy. These days, employers will run a credit report to determine how you faired financially. This will effect whether the employer will give you that dream job or not. Even if you do get the job and your employer later runs a credit report on you, you will still have to explain the bankruptcy. While employers can’t fire you because of a bad credit report, they can certainly limit your future promotions.

Future purchases are affected as well; after several years, you may opt to purchase a home. If you’re in sufficient shape at that point to qualify for a mortgage, you’ll pay a higher interest rate than the average consumer who has never filed for bankruptcy. Assume you want to purchase a $100,000 house a few years after filing bankruptcy. You make a $10,000 down payment. This will result in applying for an $80,000 mortgage. While your “good credit” neighbor would obtain an interest rate of 4.5%, you would get a rate of 7%. While it seems that the extra 2.5% difference is not bad for having filed bankruptcy in the past, it’s what you will pay monthly where you will feel the pinch. That extra 2.5% on a mortgage will increase your monthly payment by $200 per month with the total of your payments reaching more than $70,000 over the 30-year life of the mortgage.

Besides being a devastating blow to your credit, a bankruptcy can also be a very stressful and embarrassing decision to continually have to explain to every potential lender. If you have no choice, then you should proceed, understanding the consequences. However, the majority of people who take this method of debt elimination don’t know what they’re getting themselves into or the consequences thereafter. They are desperate, and they get talked into filing bankruptcy by the collectors or attorney without understanding the impact on their financial future.

Keep in mind that personal bankruptcies are usually unnecessary as there are better options available. Many people are forced, against their wishes, to file bankruptcy to protect themselves from aggressive creditor tactics or attorney. Ultimately, bankruptcy still means failure to employers and creditors.

Debt Negotiation – Light at the End of the Tunnel

Few people realize that there is another solution to burdensome debt, an approach that levels the playing field between you and your creditors, without having to go to court. The debt negotiation strategy will put you back on the road to financial freedom and in control of your life again.

The Negotiation Strategy allows you to turn that $25,000 of credit card debt into $12,500 or even as little as $9,000. In most cases, our clients have debts totaling $8,000 and have successfully saved them thousands while maintaining a reasonable credit rating. With a professional debt negotiator working for you, your debt can be cut in half or less.

How it works: Put yourself in the shoes of a manager of a collection department for a major credit card company. You know that bankruptcies are at an all-time high and that the chances of collecting on the outstanding debt worsen as the debt ages. You have the opportunity to close your books on a delinquent account by collecting 50 pennies for every dollar owed by the debtor, or take a chance on never collecting a single penny by trying to hold out for the full value. You also realize that once the debt leaves your bank (usually after six months or so), it will go to a third-party collection agency. The agency will take at least 15%-20% commission right off the top of whatever they collect, and they are unlikely to collect more than 70% of the debt even with the most aggressive tactics. So you’ll probably never retrieve much more than half the money anyway. When you look at it this way, collecting 50% now doesn’t seem like such a bad deal.

The way it’s described, it sounds easy. You might be thinking, “I’ll the collectors and do this myself.” You’ll reach the “customer service team” and the representative will inform you that other banks may settle for 50%, but their bank never settles under any circumstances. Of course, they do have that “great” hardship program for you. After you’ve called a few times and received the same treatment, you’ll probably end up with the idea that debt negotiation doesn’t work. The banks will rarely take a debtor seriously. They simply don’t believe you and they think your hardship story is phony. The banks are quite prepared for the amateur do-it-yourself negotiator. They have the telephone scripts set up so that by the time the conversation is over, you will feel guilty about the money owed, and their lame hardship plan sounds like a great deal after all.

Having a third-party professional on your side makes all the difference in the world. Once your creditors realize that they are talking to a professional, someone who knows the laws and regulations, they quickly change their tune. A negotiator will obtain better results than you could ever obtain on your own, simply because all of the bank’s tactics are stymied by the fact that they can’t talk directly to you. They can’t apply psychological pressure to you since this is filtered out by your Professional Debt Negotiator.

Consider this: Creditors pull out all the stops when you fall behind. They have gangs of collectors ready to pressure you with carefully scripted techniques and mind games. They have attorneys and collection agencies ready to step in and go after you full throttle. You need to level the playing field. The best and only way you can concentrate on improving your financial future is to let a professional deal with the aggravation of the nonstop phone calls. Bottom line – If you’re looking for the most effective, low-cost, and fastest way to terminate your debt problem once and for all – Negotiation is the answer.

About The Author Drakeport Financial will host a free Debt Management Seminar for people who wish to correct existing debt problems or avoid the possibility of such problems developing in the future. Seminars are held Saturday mornings from 9 to 11 a.m. at locations throughout the United States. Call Drakeport Financial today toll free at 866-676-4945 for more information. You may also visit the website: www.drakeport.com custsupport@drakeport.com

Back On Track – by: Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers – Column for the week of January 27, 2003

I have been involved with a married man for a little while. I am married myself, but it was an arranged marriage and I am very unhappy. I stay with my husband because of culture and my small children.

Because I was miserable I was elated to fall in love with a guy I met. I never asked him for anything. I wanted to be able to have a friend in him. I know he will never leave his wife and I don’t want him to, but last week I found out I am pregnant by him.

I know the best way forward is termination, but it is tearing me apart as I am Catholic and my third child died at birth last year. When I told him, he totally freaked out big time. He told me to get an abortion as soon as possible. He said I was to present him with the receipt, and he would pay half, as if I am a common prostitute.

He is only the second man I ever slept with. The first was my husband. I am beside myself and cannot sleep or eat. When I try to contact him, he says he is with his wife and family, and I am not to bother him.

It looks like he was only interested in sleeping with me, while I wanted someone to talk to. I feel like dirt. I can’t even say it is my husband’s as I have not slept with him in over a year. Please help.

Clio

Clio, how did this chain of events begin?

You married a man you did not love. That was the first link in the chain. Love is something we all need. If we don’t have love, we are going to go looking for love. That search created the second link in the chain.

You and this man took no precautions to prevent a pregnancy. That formed the third link. Now you have a choice about whether to keep the baby. That link will probably determine not only the baby’s future, but the future of your marriage.

Three things suggest you want to have the baby. You recently lost a child, you took a chance on becoming pregnant again, and it is in accord with your religious tradition.

As unhappy as you are in your marriage, your husband must feel the same way. If it is at all possible, you need to sit down and discuss with him the state of your marriage and the best course to follow now. Be forthright in your explanations.

We cannot tell you what decision to make, but the discussion with your husband is central to your future and the future of your children. Right now you are desperate, but once you have done the hardest thing–telling your husband–every day things will get easier. Then you will be on a truthful path, and your future can only be built on truth.

Your actions so far have been based on not facing up to the reality of your situation. Even one more day in that direction will make things worse. If you feel you are unable to discuss this with your husband, then you need to discuss it with a trusted friend or one of the many groups which does pregnancy counseling.

At one time the man you were involved with could have made a decision to protect himself and his wife. That time has passed. He may have created a half brother or half sister to your children and to his own. His price to pay is that the future is your decision, and the law will spell out what his obligations are.

You have a life to live and children who depend on you. Basing your life on honesty can get you back to the kind of life you envisioned for yourself.

Wayne & Tamara

About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

Rightful Owner – by: Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers – Column for the week of January 20, 2003

I was recently looking through some old photos when I found some of an ex-boyfriend when he was a child. I remember him telling me at the time these were the only photos that exist of him as a child, and that these are the only copies.

I want to send the photos to him so his family can have them. I have an old address of his parents. However, I don’t want to send them by post with my address on the back of the envelope because I do not want any contact from him or his parents, nor for them to know where I live or work.

I’m happily married and desire no further contact from him. If I send the pictures without a return address and they no longer live there, the pictures will be lost forever. It’s important for me that his family have these photos. Please help.

Pamela

Pamela, people love a mystery. If you send the photos anonymously, it may well induce someone to play private investigator.

It could also set off a series of unintended effects. Imagine your ex-boyfriend is recently divorced. The arrival of the photos will seem cosmic and spiritual. He’ll think divine forces are drawing you back to him. Or if he has not been in touch with his parents, they may think the prodigal son is returning. Or they may even fear he’s been kidnapped for ransom.

You cannot control other people’s reactions, but you can minimize their effect on you, especially if you follow a straightforward course.

Send a note with the photos to the parents. Explain to them what you explained to us. Mention that now you are married, you realize the importance of keeping family photos in the family. Use the address of a third party, such as that of a friend in a different city or country, and mention the return address is that of another.

Tamara

An Open Space

I am 48, attractive, active, the mother of a teenage boy and a small business owner. I feel I am responsible, have integrity and am fun to be with.

The problem is I have never met, though I have been married twice, the man who was meant to be my partner. I have settled each time out of loneliness. I tried to make it work each time as best I could, and really, if I had seen the effort being given in return, would have made a go of it.

But each time it was evident they were not what I hoped for, and yes, the responsibility to become involved was mine. Now I see clearly what I lacked and will never settle again. It just doesn’t work! But now I believe I will never find it.

I am at an age where men want younger women, and I have truly never met someone I could totally respect. It is a void, no matter how busy or productive I am, I never stop feeling. How can someone rid themselves of this empty feeling? And please do not say be busy and make yourself happy. I do that and it is not working.

Evette

Evette, we cannot make the empty space in your life go away. The space is there for a reason, and you have twice learned it cannot be filled by just anyone. That space is there for the person who belongs there. That is where that person fits.

If you take your son fishing, you cannot guarantee he will catch a fish. But it could happen. He has put himself in the way of catching fish. It is possible.

If you are busy in the sense of busywork, you cannot expect anything to happen. But if you are busy in the sense of living, growing and enlarging yourself, you have put yourself in the way of this happening for you.

Wayne

About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

Feng Shui with Style! Working with Your Element Type – by: Stephanie Roberts

When you begin to study feng shui, you quickly realize the importance of the qualities and characteristics of the five feng shui elements: wood, fire, earth, metal, and water. This knowledge is essential to selecting appropriate colors, furnishings, and accessories for your home. You can also use your understanding of the five elements to develop a personalized feng shui strategy, based on the element that is reflected most strongly in your own style of living.

Metal energy is clean, simple, and detail-oriented. Earth is lush, nurturing and comfortable. Water is free-flowing, expressive, and intuitive. Wood is ambitious, forward-thinking, and practical. Fire is passionate, excitable, and changeable. Each of us has a unique combination of these five energies in our own personality, usually with one element dominating. This is reflected in how we decorate and use our homes. Some of us developed a strong style preference at a very early age, which continues to serve and suit us well. Others go through different phases as they progress through life. You may once have covered anything that didn’t move in chintz and ruffles, but now find yourself appreciating the clarity of a more sparsely decorated space – or vice versa. During an earlier phase you may have been happy with few possessions and a minimalist lifestyle, only to find greater comfort now in the abundant colors and textures of a more lavishly decorated home.

The element that is strongest in your personality right now will influence your current decorating style, housekeeping habits, and your approach to feng shui. Your experience will be more fun and more comfortable when you tailor your feng shui strategies to your element style. Let’s begin by seeing which of the five descriptions below most closely describes you:

• Neat Freak (METAL): I hate clutter! My home is always immaculate, with everything tidy and well-maintained, and I am very thoughtful about what I bring into my space.

• Pack Rat (EARTH): I love my stuff, and can’t get rid of anything. My house is so full of clutter that when something is broken I can’t even get to it to fix it.

• Free Spirit (WATER): I’m too busy being me to clean up! If something’s a mess, I just toss a shawl over it. People say my home has lots of personality, and I am constantly redecorating and moving things around.

• Go-Getter (WOOD): Housekeeping? Home décor? Don’t ask me; that’s what the maid and decorator are for. I just want things functional and practical, and I need a quiet place to come home to at the end of a busy day.

• Whirlwind (FIRE): Enough of the quiz already! I have a million things to do and a short attention span-just tell me how to feng shui my house!

Many people are a combination of styles, so it may be hard to choose just one answer. If you’re not sure, ask a few relatives or close friends for feedback; if you’re a true Neat Freak, you may think your house is a mess even when it’s immaculate by other people’s standards! You may also find that you live one style, but secretly crave another. As a dyed-in-the-wool Free Spirit, for example, I regularly break the feng shui rules of good housekeeping because I’m just too busy creating, writing, and living to keep things as clean and organized as I would like them to be. But whenever I visit a Neat Freak’s home, my soul goes “ahhhhhh.” The trick is to be aware of what type of space you are really, truly most comfortable in. As much as I like visiting pristine, zen-like spaces, I know that I don’t really want to live in one — that if I did it would soon look just as lived-in as my current home.

Here are some guidelines, based on the element-affinities described above, to help you develop a personalized feng shui strategy:

NEAT FREAK – Your home is so neat and tidy that it may be a little rigid, sterile, or monochromatic. You tend to like the minimalist look, and are the most likely type to have all-white decor. If your furniture has been in the same position for years, look for ways to get chi moving without making more change than you’ll feel comfortable with. Live plants and flowers will bring natural energy and color to your space. You may also need to add more personal touches here and there. Find a place to display a few favorite photographs of friends and family members, so there are some human images around you. Your love for clean, simple spaces and attention to detail mean you are probably on top of any maintenance or clutter issues, so focus on creating a good flow of chi through your home, counteracting any negative influences, and activating your power spots. Your clean and tranquil home is a wonderful environment for self-nurturing methods such as meditation and qigong.

PACKRAT – Your biggest problem is clutter! Closets are overflowing, you have three sets of everything, books are stacked two deep on every shelf, you’ve saved every greeting card you ever got, and all the flat surfaces in your home are piled with stuff. You might still be able to breathe, but your space isn’t getting any chi at all! Create some breathing room in your home before you do anything else, or you’ll just activate all your clutter into even greater chaos. Chances are you’ve been feeling a little stuck lately, so focus on getting rid of the old to make room for the new before you do anything else. Once you’ve cleared out enough stuff to get a good look at your house, make sure you’ve got a good flow of chi through the space and address any maintenance issues before making other feng shui changes. Your own chi will shift a lot as you clean out your home, so be sure to practice some grounding and balancing techniques as you go along.

FREE SPIRIT – You’ve been feng shui-ing your space since the day you first got your own bedroom, even if you didn’t know to call it that. You are the type most likely to want to work on everything at once, so be sure to define some priorities before jumping into making changes. Your enthusiasm for creative décor may lead you to overlook basic maintenance issues and allow clutter to pile up. Take care of those first, then make sure that you are applying your individuality to your power spots rather than scattering it randomly about the place. Of all the types, you are boldest in your use of color, so get out the brush and roller and have some fun with feng shui color-theory. Make sure that you haven’t overlooked any negative influences that should be corrected, and use your creativity to develop your own unique feng shui enhancements. You’ve probably tried a lot of different personal renewal methods over the years, but may not have kept up a consistent practice. Make a commitment to pay as much attention to the inner you as you do to your surroundings.

GO-GETTER – Your house is probably beautifully furnished and well maintained, but you may have delegated so many of your home-maintenance chores that you no longer have a strong energetic attachment to your space. Make sure you don’t delegate all your feng shui tasks, too, or they won’t have much power behind them. Find small, simple things you can do yourself and be sure to put some of your own energy into enhancing your key power spots. If you arrange for someone else to take care of other feng shui chores, it will be especially important to perform the body-speech-mind empowerments on each one when the work is done. Throw practicality out the window for a moment and choose one unique and unexpected item for your home that expresses the inner you others so rarely see. Chances are good you’ve been pushing yourself pretty hard for a long time, so be sure to make time for balance and renewal. A candle-lit aromatherapy bath will help you relax so you can enjoy your beautiful home.

WHIRLWIND – You’re usually moving too fast to pay much attention to your house, but once you get into feng shui you’ll want to get it all done in one afternoon. Do some planning before you begin, or you’ll jump from one unnecessary embellishment to another without getting to the important stuff before you’re distracted by the next exciting idea. You want to start with the wind chimes and water fountains because they look like the most fun, but if you skip over locating your personal power spots you won’t know where to place them. And leaving the household maintenance tasks for later could sabotage your other efforts. You’ll benefit from the discipline of empowering your changes with a daily ritual-it’s an essential part of the process, and the thing you’re most likely to skip! Promise yourself a massage when you’re done, and splurge on a big bouquet of flowers as a centerpiece for your home, so you remember to stop and smell the roses from time to time.

Copyright © 2002 by Stephanie Roberts

About The Author Stephanie Roberts is a feng shui consultant in Maui, Hawaii, and the author of the best-selling Fast Feng Shui: 9 Simple Principles for Transforming Your Life by Energizing Your Home (rated 5-stars by Amazon.com readers) from which this article is adapted. To find out how you can use contemporary Western feng shui to help you achieve greater success and happiness in your life, please visit the Fast Feng Shui website. stephanie@fastfengshui.com

How to Improve Your Love Life with the Power of Feng Shui… Without Spending a Dime! – by: Stephanie Roberts

FENG shui (say “fung shway”) is the art of creating a home environment that supports the life you wish to live. A key element of feng shui is creating a smooth flow of chi (positive energy) through your space. Chi likes to move through your home as though it were a gentle breeze or a meandering stream. Where it is blocked, the energy becomes stagnant–like a pond choked with algae and fallen leaves. You are likely to feel blocked in life, and your energy and enthusiasm for matters of the heart will be low. Balancing and correcting the chi of your bedroom helps encourage and invigorate romance. Here are some quick and easy ways to improve your love life by improving the energy of your home:

1. Clean up your bedroom

When your bedroom is cluttered and untidy, the energy in there will be low and slow. Clutter is a sure sign that chi is stuck, so roll up your sleeves and clean the place up if you want to jump-start your love life. Ring a bell, shake a rattle, or clap your hands loudly around the room to clear out old, stale energy.

2. Make room for love

If you want to attract a new romantic partner–or move a casual relationship closer to commitment–make sure there is space for that person in your home. Look at your closets, shelves, and dressers, especially in the bedroom; if they are all filled to capacity with your own stuff, make clearing some room for your current or future partner a priority. Aim to free up 25% of the space in your bedroom for someone else’s things. When you are done, take a moment to visualize your loved one’s belongings finding a home there.

3. Don’t work out in the bedroom

When you exercise in the bedroom, or store your sports equipment there, you bring the energy of hard work and exertion into your romance space. Do you want your relationship to feel like a tough workout? If not, move your workout stuff somewhere else; your relationship is likely to move along more smoothly.

4. Remove old relationship energy

Go through your home–especially your bedroom–and remove anything that reminds you of past failed relationships; this could be an ex-boyfriend’s old sweater you find in the closet, photographs of you with a previous partner, a gift that reminds you (unfavorably) of a giver with whom you are no longer in love–anything that reminds you of a love that went bad. No matter how incurable a romantic you may be, do NOT keep old love letters anywhere in your bedroom unless they are from someone with whom you are still blissfully paired up.

5. Remove inappropriate imagery

The images with which you surround yourself can have a powerful effect on your love life. Feng shui clients who complain of difficulty finding romance often have surrounded themselves with images of a person alone. Inappropriate imagery includes anything that represents solitude, loneliness, aggression, hard work, conflict, or disagreement in any way. That old photo of your Dad when he was in the army may be a treasure, but the wartime energy it carries doesn’t have any place in the bedroom; find another place to keep it.

6. Open the door to love

Make sure both the front door of your home and the door to your bedroom open easily and completely. Doors that stick, squeak, or that only open partway because of all the stuff stored behind them are blocking the flow of romantic energy and opportunity into your home. A loose doorknob on your bedroom door could mean you’re having a hard time “getting a handle on” romance; get out your screwdriver and tighten it up.

7. Create a path for chi

Walk slowly from your front door to your bedroom, pretending that you are a gentle river of chi. Look for any areas where furniture or other belongings are stopping or slowing the flow of chi, or where chi is diverted away from the bedroom to other areas of the house. Clear a path so fresh chi can find its way to your bedroom and nourish your love life. Make sure all the lights along this route are working, replace any burned-out bulbs, and be alert for dark or dingy corners where you can increase the energy by adding more light.

8. Move your bed

If one side of your bed is against the wall, the person who sleeps on that side may feel confined or disempowered in the relationship. If possible, place the bed so there is equal space on either side, so you and your partner can find equal enjoyment in the relationship. The ideal position of the bed will be on the opposite side of the room from the door, but not directly in line with it. If you can’t see the bedroom door from the bed, hang a mirror where it will provide a reflected view of the entry.

9. Bring romance chi into the bedroom

Be sure to place romantic imagery in these two key places in the bedroom: the wall opposite the foot of the bed (where you naturally look when lying in bed), and whatever area of the room you first see when you enter. Beautiful, romantic artwork is always good, as are fresh or silk flowers and anything in pairs (such as birds, cherubs, candles, or decorative pillows). A round mirror is also good for the bedroom, as the shape signifies completion and unity. Look around your home for whatever says “romance” to you, and find a good spot for it in your bedroom.

10. Clarify your intention

Make a collage of images that symbolize your perfect relationship, and place it where you will see it every day. If you are already in a relationship, invite your partner to make a collage with you, to represent your intention to build a joyful and loving future together.

Copyright © 2002 Stephanie Roberts

This article is based on information in the book Fast Feng Shui for Singles: 108 Ways to Heal Your Home and Attract Romance (Lotus Pond Press, Kahului, HI, ISBN 1-931383-04-9), also available at Amazon.com.

About The Author Stephanie Roberts is a feng shui consultant in Maui, Hawaii, and the author of the best-selling “Fast Feng Shui” books (rated 5-stars by Amazon.com readers). To find out how you can use contemporary Western feng shui to help you achieve greater success and happiness in your life, please visit the Fast Feng Shui website. stephanie@fastfengshui.com

In a Slump?, Rejoice I Say, Rejoice! – by: Richard Vegas

Yea, I know……..I hear you saying “that’s easy for you to say”.! Well……why don’t you just pout about it then? You know, I want to tell you a funny story about a salesperson in a BIG slump. This person I actually trained before she moved on to another job many years ago. You’ll like this.

Now, you know what a slump is, right? Don’t ya? If you have ever been in outside sales you know what a slump is. But, now, on this wild thing we call the internet, we think we don’t have to worry about “slumps” because we’re big internet tycoons. Yeah! Right. More like typhoons. A big bag “o” wind.

Well, anyway, this particular salesperson was in presentation with a very wealthy businessman and trying her best to make a 5 million dollar sale. Talk about pressure. And, we sweat over $50 bucks.

Well, this sales lady had given her finest presentation, she had polished it, she had smoothed it, she had rehearsed it till all the rough edges were off, and it was round as a bowling ball. She just knew this sale was in the bag. She had already spent the commission so she had to make this deal fly.

As the presentation rolled on, after an hour and a half, she began feeling that she was not making a connection with this prospect. And, you know that nagging little voice inside your head that says, “Hey dummy” you ain’t gonna make the car payment next month? Well, it started talking to her. And, she say’s of all the times, right in the middle of my presentation I just yelled out, “oh sh**”.

Her prospect, being an elderly sophisticated gentleman and just a little bit hard of hearing says, what? What? She said, in her most humble tone of voice, “oh excuse me sir, but could you direct me to the lady’s room”. He said, OHHHH! Certainly.

She says to me, with a look of total confidence on her face, like she knew exactly what she was doing and saying all the time, she walked right into that lady’s room and took a big load off her mind. She say’s and not a second too soon.

After composing herself she remembered what I had told her several years before about laughing. About how good it is for the soul. She thought to herself, that’s my medicine.

So being as quite as she could she started laughing.

So really guys, come on now listen, slumps are nothing more than a part of life on and off the internet. I know you’ve heard it said a thousand times by every hot dog seminar promoter that comes to town with his little bag of tricks that’s going to get you making a zillion dollars by the time you complete his program and of course fork out your fourteen hundred dollars.

Here are some easy things that everyone can do to get out of a slump. Everybody wants something easy. Here it is.

• Most Important, Realize that slumps will inevitably come. They are just part of life. They are as dependable as the sun rising and setting.

• Also know that following every slump, will come the days of feasting. Just as certain.

• Next… if your wife happens to lock herself out of the house at 2 am, and she is yelling and screaming at the front door, and your dog is barking like crazy at the back door, DON’T let the dog in first, I don’t care if he will shut up once he gets in. That’s a BAD move. And not good strategy for getting out of a slump.

• Ok, I put that last paragraph in there to lighten you up a little.

• It is very important to take life’s problems with the proper mindset. If you can laugh at a slump, I guarantee you it will end sooner than you think.

• If you are prepared to laugh all the way through it, it won’t last very long. If you’re not willing to laugh all the way through it, it may take a long time to go through it.

I have proved all these strategies out on myself, even the one about the wife and dog, yeah, really, and I tell you from 20 years of hard knocks what works and what don’t. Maybe that’s why I’m single today. Hmmm. Only the women really know for sure. :>)

Can you avoid a slump? Not really. But you can laugh your way through it. I promise you if you will force yourself to laugh, your body and mind will get the hint and then your inner emotions will really begin to make you feel like you are in control.

If you really want to know the facts, that’s the problem with slumps. We feel like we are not in control. And that is scary. But feelings are fickle. They come and go with the wind. So, feelings that are created by outward circumstances can be changed by laughing yourself silly.

Try it, You’ll like it.

Richard Vegas ©2002

About The Author Richard Vegas is a popular recording artist and internet marketing professional. He invites you to subscribe to his FREE weekly ezine “Wing-Tips” at: http://www.1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com You may also hear and follow Richard’s music at: http://www.richardvegas.com webmaster@1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com

Mom’s Legacy – by: Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers – Column for the week of January 13, 2003

I am recently divorced from a destructive narcissist. His infidelity, coupled with a lack of remorse for the havoc caused to our family, was the last straw. This crisis drove me to discover much about myself that needs repairing. I am happily working on those issues, particularly on establishing clear boundaries and a strong sense of self.

Last week my son, his former stepson, received a birthday check. I told my son he should return it. I said it was okay to keep the good memories in his heart and be polite when they met, but that gift was just making my ex look like a good guy and showing total disregard for the pain he caused all of us.

My son accidentally got wind of his stepfather’s affair through a third party. It was a cruel discovery, and he was deeply hurt. I also explained it’s hard to say “enough” to someone you opened your heart to, but it is imperative to recognize situations for what they are and not make excuses for bad behavior. My gut says I’m on the mark. What do you say?

Julene

Julene, our gut says you are on the mark. For yourself. But your relationship to your ex-husband and your son’s relationship to him are two entirely different things.

For better or for worse, you were the one who brought this man into your son’s life. You don’t mention how long you were married or how old your son is. But it sounds as if this man may be the only father your son has ever known. As long as your ex-husband is not clearly using this to get back at you or to manipulate your son, let your son decide.

If the check is what it appears to be on the surface, a gift, your son should decide whether to accept or not. If he is like most young people, he would rather have the money. If he is like most young people, he would rather not be caught in the middle of a power struggle between his mom and the man he thought of as dad.

Wayne & Tamara

Rules Of The Game

About a year ago my husband and I refound the passion in our relationship. We are all over each other all the time.

He is always pinching my rear, sliding his hand along my shirt, or playing with my thong. He has done things like hang my underwear on the wall or in the car after a particularly great encounter. He sometimes removes towels from the bathroom so I have to run dripping wet to our bedroom in just my underwear.

I love my husband’s flirty ways and all his passion, except he does these things in full view of my 17-year-old son. This really embarrasses my son. The other day my husband pulled on my thong, and my son was so upset he was almost in tears. How do I find a happy medium between my son’s embarrassment and a great flirty love life with my husband?

Uma

Uma, it is important for children to have a strong sense of love, both emotional and physical, between their parents. That is as much a part of marriage as paying bills, going to work, and taking care of children.

Your marriage is not only intact, it is still growing. That is good for your son to see. But while children need to have a healthy and balanced sense of what marriage is, they do not need to view the details. Those details are not part of their relationship to their parents.

All games have rules. In football, certain uses of the hands are simply not done in full view of the referee. Reining in a little for the sake of your son can enhance your pleasure when he is not around and you express yourselves freely.

Tamara

About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

When Things Happen Without Reason – by: Selena Richardson

Sometimes things happen in life for apparently no reason at all. You think that there isn’t any reason for something to happen until after the fact when that something has changed your life or pointed you into a new direction.

Two seemingly totally opposite things can happen to you one day but they have a certain affect on you. Let’s say you get this idea to do something, like read a certain book you keep putting off. The idea pops in and out of your head and you dismiss it. The usual ‘I’ll do it later’ routine.

During the day while working, someone casually mentions that book, talking about how much it helped them in their situation and so on and so on. You dismiss it again because of course you’ll read it at another time.

A few days later, you’re at a doctor’s appointment and you’re flipping through a magazine. You see a review for the same book. By now you should be thinking either you’re crazy or somebody’s trying to give you a big hint.

That’s the point when you should take the hint and read the book. That’s how life works. Intuition hits – you get an inspiration or an idea to do something and you get bombarded left and right with all of these situations that don’t seem like they have any similarity. Until you take a closer look and then you see. If you look hard enough at each situation it’s like putting the pieces in a jigsaw puzzle. If you fit each piece in the right place you finally get the picture.

Let’s say that you want to buy a computer program. It’s a really good program that you need to help run your business. The only problem is that it costs $200 and you don’t have that money right now to pay for it. So you put it on your to do list for a couple months down the road when you can fit it in your budget.

You go through your day to day routine and guess what? You get an email from a discussion list answering someone else’s question about the same program. As you read it you realize that it’s from the maker of the program. And here’s the kicker – there’s a new special 30 day trial download of the program.

So you think coincidence. I say not! You go to the website to download the program and it’s a 60 day trial instead of 30 days. Now you’re probably dumbfounded by now because you just told yourself that morning you would have to wait a couple months to buy it. Except now you can use the program for free for a couple of months and then buy it. Now if you still aren’t convinced of synchronistic events then let me say this – every single thing happens for a reason.

Look back on some of your past experiences in life. I am sure that there were several times where things happened to you for no apparent reason at all. These events either led to other events or were major turning points in your life that didn’t match up anywhere else. They didn’t seem to fit in to what you were doing at the time. But looking back, they fit in perfectly. It’s just that you couldn’t see it at the time.

When things happen without any obvious reason, remember that there’s something you need to pay attention to. There’s always a reason, it’s just that you can’t see it while it’s happening. There’s an unseen force that’s always pointing you in the right direction whether you notice it or not. And those unreal experiences, those strange synchronicities – things happening by ‘chance’ are usually a push in the direction you want (or didn’t know you wanted) to go. Just follow the flow and say thanks – whether it’s a computer program that you get to try out for free or it’s a book you’ve been putting off reading.

About The Author Selena Richardson, coach and editor of Creative Possibilities, a free newsletter helping people focus on and reach their goals. Are you ready to create your journey in life? To subscribe, mailto:subscribe-cpossibilities@creationjourneys.com or visit http://www.creationjourneys.com for more information on her upcoming workshops. selena@creationjourneys.com

Flash!! I Thought I Saw A Puddy Cat! – by: Richard Vegas

Have you ever had one of those flashes of inspiration? Have you ever just had one of those “knowings” down in the pit of your stomach? No, I don’t mean after a big bowl of beans. That’s not what I’m talking about. Ever had something flash across your mind and looked like a puddy cat? Read on and discover what it was.

Flashes of inspiration; how sweet they are. And, they can take different forms. Every one of you, at some time or another, has slapped his/her knee and said, “I see it”. “I see it”. That was your subconscious talking to you. That’s where your Spirit lives. And he knows what the answer is even when you don’t.

The reason so many people get so few “flashes of inspiration” is they never spend the time to get to know their best friend. Case in point. In the early part of the last century, there was a scientist who, during his lifetime, developed many inventions.

Flying Cats, What’s the world coming to?

He said he got his ideas from flashes of puddy cats. Well, that was his way of explaining them. He would go into a dark room with a table and one chair and turn the lights off and sit, and sit, and sit.

He said he didn’t care how long it took; he would wait till he saw flashes of puddy cats. He was waiting on fresh ideas and answers to what ever he was disturbed over. He knew the answer was in his Spirit, he just had to get it out.

I Think That Dude Needs a Rubber Room!

While he was in the room, he applied what he called controlled attention, asking his subconscious to give him the answer to his specific problem. The way he described it, on some occasions the puddy cats didn’t come too quickly. On some occasions they were fuzzy, no pun intended. Sometime they would fly like machine gun bullets.

As soon as the ideas began to make sense, he would turn the lights on and write them down. He explained the source of them this way. He said they came from knowledge stored in his subconscious but acquired through personal experience; knowledge of others and, knowledge from the infinite intelligence.

He said when he was sitting, he would tune into one or all three of these sources. He emphasized that he “made” the time to do this because it was so beneficial. He said most people would scoff at this because it would appear to be such a waste of time. Most people would rather struggle and fight because they believe that’s the way that great achievements come.

Not to mention they would not want others to think they were a fruit cake.

The author of this article has some personal experience with this concept. Being a student of the subconscious and particularly interested in the powers of the unknown and unexplainable, I began to notice some startling results begin to take place after employing these ideas.

No Fruit Cake For Me!

I want it on record here and now, “I have never seen any puddy cats”!! Not real ones anyway. Maybe some baby elephants, Nah…. I’m kidding. Although I have to admit, I’ve looked for them. Hehe! Now just what you think if I told you puddy cats went flying through my closet? Yeah, right.

In your quest for answers you may fail. Remember, Success is never final, and failure is never fatal, only staying down is failure. What you are doing here is, “learning to see.” Learning to see so that your quest will help you discover something more, something even greater. What is that? The ability to discover answers any time you need them.

Think about this. How would you feel if you knew with any problem that came up in your life, you could find a series of answers? All of them will not be right. Most of them will be garbage. A few of them may be useable. Some of them will look like puddy cats. Yea…. and that’s the one we’re looking for.

Looks like the 3 Stooges to me!

Be observant, think, look, pay attention, controlled attention, for that’s when, who knows, you might see a puddy cat. Here is something I have personally discovered in this process. Pay attention. Many times, not every time, I did not get what I felt was a specific answer to the specific situation at hand.

But, what I got was a direction that appeared to have nothing to do with the problem at hand, but in the end, it was something much more valuable and much greater than I could have ever done through kicking and screaming it into existence.

Learn a lesson from Chris!

Consider this. Christopher Columbus set out to find a way to Asia by traveling west from Spain. That was his goal; that was his definite plan. Well, you know the story. He failed big time. Or, did he? You wouldn’t be here if he had succeeded. I believe the infinite wisdom that communicates to our subconscious knew where he should end up. Thank goodness it did.

In many respects, these flashes of imagination could be explained as just an individual brainstorming; i.e.; allowing your imagination to flash ideas from the subconscious to the conscious mind and incorporating the answers to a specific problem. When done, these flashes are examined for value and practicality.

A Good Place to Think!

If you follow my articles you will understand what I’m about to say. I’ve had people ask me, “Where do you get some of the crazy titles you come up with for your articles”? I tell em “puddy cats”. That’s where they come from. Although I admit, I’m not always in a closet looking for them. Sometime they come just from watching Gomer Pyle. But, you have to be able to recognize them, when they come, even if you’re in your sitting room on your throne.

Every person has the creative ability to do this. It is God given. But, most people just haven’t learned to use it. So don’t sell yourself short and say “I don’t have a puddy cat brain”. Yes you do, Sylvester. It is very unlikely that any great mind would have achieved greatness without learning to use the creative abilities of their mind. Discover your puddy cats; they’re in there.

Richard Vegas ©2002

About The Author Richard Vegas is a popular recording artist and internet marketing professional. He invites you to subscribe to his FREE weekly ezine “Wing-Tips” The Success System That Never Fails, at: http://www.1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com. You may also hear and follow Richard’s music career at: http://www.richardvegas.com webmaster@1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com